| clear guidance relating to our relationships | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
THE scriptures provide clear guidance relating to our relationships as we grow old: "Drink waters out of your own cistern, and running waters out of your own well. Let your fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only your own, and not strangers' with you. Let your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and be ravished always with her love. And why will you, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?" Proverbs 5:15-20 In these verses, we are called to always remain faithful to our wives, in order that we may grow old together. We are also called to shun the attraction of younger suitors. This command is first expressed figuratively, with the allegory of a well of water. This was a strong picture in the ancient world, as taking water from another's well was a serious crime. It is in this context that the writer introduces the idea of remaining faithful to one's wife -- of not deserting her as she ages. The heinous nature of seeking love elsewhere is demonstrated in the juxtaposition of the command with the previous statements about water. Such Biblical wisdom is plain enough for any sincere seeker of God -- for anyone who searches the scriptures in order to discern God's will. Which makes the behaviour of an increasing number of "Church leaders" all the more difficult to explain. If the sorry case of Ray Bevan was not enough, it transpires that his fellow minister Ray McCauley has done exactly the same thing! And what makes this bizarre coincidence all the more amazing is that Ray Bevan and Ray McCauley are good friends who often minister together. On several occasions, Bevan has been a guest speaker at the annual `Celebration Conferences', being a particular hit with the youth due to his musical abilities and very loud style. Ray Bevan has also reciprocated, having Ray McCauley visit his church in South Wales at least once a year for several years. So we are left wondering whether there is a new fashion for ministers to shun the counsel of God's word and "be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger" (Prov. 5:20).South African Ray McCauley is the Pastor of the 20,000-strong Rhema Church (Randburg, South Africa) and president of the International Federation of Christian Churches, which represents 500 churches in Southern Africa and another 100 overseas. He has a prominent ministry in South Africa, a fact demonstrated by his role as spiritual counsellor to disgraced South African cricket captain Hansie Cronjé. For those who don't remember, Cronjé admitted to being a cheat, fixing international cricket matches in deals with gambling syndicates. McCauley's prominence in South Africa has, of course, caused his divorce and subsequent courting of a younger divorcee to make the national papers, bringing yet more disgrace upon the testimony of the Church. The following picture appeared in the South African Sunday Times (8/10/00) with the headline: "Pastor Ray has new love - three months after divorce"! The "new love" in McCauley's life was revealed to be Zelda Ireland, herself recently divorced for the second time. She is a former model, and has three children aged 10, 18 and 22. Ray McCauley's son and Zelda Ireland's daughter attend the same elite St Stithians school in Johannesburg, and Zelda had attended Ray McCauley's church for 19 years. In an interview given to the Sunday Times (20th May, 2001), Zelda admitted that during this time she "had always secretly admired McCauley". With her ex-husband Thomas Zilk, the former head of Austrian Airlines in Africa, now based in Switzerland, and McCauley's ex-wife virtually exiled in Florida, the way was open for them to pair up. This was done with the blessing of other senior church figures including Reinhard Bonke. Zelda Ireland, referring to her imminent third marriage to Ray McCauley, said, "It's almost like I find myself being third time lucky. This time, it is going to be forever". In a previous interview, she stated, "We're having a wonderful time, my children are happy, everyone is just happy, happy, happy!". This happy picture contrasted greatly with that of Ray McCauley's wife of 24 years, Lyndie McCauley. Under the headline Ray McCauley broke my heart (South African Sunday Times, 15/7/01), a tearful Lyndie explained that Ray McCauley rejected her attempts for reconciliation and that she was pressured into the divorce while not being in the proper state of mind to make the decision. The following is an excerpt from the Sunday Times article:"Lyndie McCauley said her marriage had been under pressure and that she and her husband had lost touch because of other commitments. `But we worked together and lived together. The ministry was part of our life. With the politics of South Africa and the demands, and with him being involved in sport ... we lost touch with one another. I was too angry. I felt rejected, I was despondent, all the words that depict a broken life. But I began to heal and recover. I felt the love of the people and of God,' she said. She regretted that her marriage to the head of the Rhema Bible Church had ended in divorce. `It [divorce] is something I wouldn't suggest for anybody. How do you deal with two such leading people's marriage falling apart? I know we could have done better,' she said, breaking down in tears. `I feel in my heart that a woman just needs love. Love never fails. I do believe love would have wooed me in an incredible way, because all of us need love. I respond well to love ... I miss the Rhema church and I love them [the members] so much. I'm sorry,' she says in the interview, fighting back tears."
Speaking to the Sunday Times after the wedding, McCauley said, "It's been a hard, long and lonely road but I hope to be able to get on with my life, serving God and the church." This sorry tale leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. How can a man do this and remain in the ministry? Where is the discernment of the other leaders, including Bonke, who have given their blessing to this? How can Ray McCauley live with himself knowing how he has treated his estranged wife? What sort of pastor does this make him? The mind boggles really. In my kitchen at home there is a porcelain figure of a pig, which serves as an air-tight container for storing tea-bags. This pig figure is now offered to Ray McCauley free of charge, to remind him of just what he is like. All he has to do to claim it is to collect it in person from my house. The same offer is open to Ray Bevan. Actually, they may as well come together -- after all, "birds of a feather ... (SB) Appeared in Issue CETF 7.2 January 2002 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
-Last revised-
